


Flowerpots and Seeds

by diavolo



Series: seventeen as non-cis characters [4]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Angst, Background stories, Cheating, Drama, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Flower Language, Fluff, I am so sorry, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, buckle your seatbelts kids, im trash, other idols might be used to fill spaces, the garden prequel, this is a fucking hard ride, underage everything tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-01-22 21:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12490772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diavolo/pseuds/diavolo
Summary: "Planting seeds in pots can be a great way to start a houseplant or indoor garden, or otherwise start seeds that you may later transplant into your garden. Starting seeds in pots does not need to be difficult, but it does require some planning and attention to ensure successful propagation of your new plant."And without noticing, Seungcheol started bringing all sorts of seed to his garden, hoping only for them to bloom beautifully.THE GARDEN SERIES: PART II





	1. Daisy, April birthdays.

_Daisies mean innocence, especially white daisies; they also are a sign of purity._

Mingyu walked through the door to find the living room turned into an actual mess. He sighed deeply and shook his head slightly, he was going to spend the next hour cleaning that, that was for sure. He made his way into the room he and his little sister, Hyeran, shared after being sure his parents were not home. 

 

"Hey, beautiful" Mingyu smiled as soon as he saw his sister laying down on the only bed they had inside that tiny room, she was on her stomach, eagerly coloring a drawing of a flower.

 

"Aw, you arrived before I finished it" Hyeran pouted, getting up from bed and running to his older brother's arms. She hugged him tight and kissed his cheeks, happy. 

 

"That's for me?" Mingyu walked towards the bed, holding little Hyeran with both arms "Looks amazing, you are getting better and better" He complimented her "You ate anything?" 

 

Hyeran shook her head softly. "Mommy and daddy smoked  _that thing_  that makes them act  _funny_  and then they started yelling at each other. I hid under the bed as you taught me... I fell asleep, when I woke up they were gone... Gyu, do you think they are coming back soon?" She tilted her head to one side.

 

 "I don't know, sweetheart. Do you want me to cook something for dinner?" The older asked, already walking out of the room carrying his little sister along with him.

 

"I don't think there's food" Hyeran hugged his neck with both arms. 

 

Mingyu left his four-year-old sister sitting on the counter, walking away from her to open the fridge. It was empty. He later looked around, but it seemed like she was right, there was nothing. He sighed deeply, his parents were supposed to buy food with the money he gave them the day before, but of course, they spent it on something else. 

 

Their fucking drugs.

 

He was only sixteen, but he was way more responsible than his parents. He was the one who brought money home, money he didn't mind giving them, because that was why he worked in the first place, to help, to be sure there was a source of income and they wouldn't be kicked out of their home for not paying the rent. He wanted to be sure Hyeran had a place to live and food to eat, but it was too difficult to take control over everything, and of course, it was difficult to have control over his parents... they lived in a pigsty, in a terrible place of the city, barely making it to his payday, with no tv, sometimes no water due to their unpaid bills, almost no furniture... 

 

"I promise you tomorrow we will have something delicious for dinner" Mingyu smiled at her and leaned to kiss her forehead "Let's go to sleep early, I have to work tomorrow and you have to go to school"

 

He was going to make sure his little sister attended school, unlike him, who had to drop everything in order to be responsible for them. He didn't mind, but he was going to work harder to reach his goals: a good life for Hyeran.

 

"Can I pick my hairstyle for tomorrow? I want pigtails..." Hyeran pouted. 

 

"Anything you want" Mingyu smiled, nodding while he took her into his arms again.

Working at a fast food restaurant wasn't something fancy, but Mingyu couldn't complain. The payment was shitty, but at least he had a job... and a free meal a day, which was something he was really thankful for now that he was carrying the paper bag filled with a hamburger and the french fries he avoided eating, even when he was starving, so Hyeran could eat that day. Just like the previous four days, since of course, all the money he provided was used for drugs instead if being used for useful things like paying the bills or buying food. 

 

He arrived to the apartment where he and his family lived in and opened the door to loud screams coming from the kitchen. Mingyu sighed, closing the door behind him, walking all the way to the kitchen, ready to solve whatever the problem was. 

 

"What's going on? I can hear you guys screaming from the doorstep, do you want the neighbors to call the police again?" Mingyu asked, standing by the kitchen's door.

 

"The monsters are coming to catch us!" Mingyu's mother screamed at the top of her lungs, looking terrified of whatever  _monsters_ she was talking about. Of course, imaginary monsters, monsters that only came to her when she was getting deprived from their beloved crack. 

 

"They took Hyeran!" His father screamed too, hugging tightly the woman, trying to protect her.

 

"They took Hyeran?" Mingyu tilted his head to one side, confused. His sister was probably only hiding, just like he told her to do when their parents got like this. It was way safer for her than to try dealing with their delusional perception of the reality and all the scary things they saw while hallucinating. 

 

Mingyu felt bad for that. He looked intently at his parents, shaking, heavy breathing, hugging each other as if their lives depended on that. He sighed again, biting his lower lip. If only he could help them, if only he could get them out of that vicious circle... but he had to deal with that, and he had to teach Hyeran to deal with it peacefully, keeping her away from drugs or bad things, without blaming their parents for the terrible conditions they lived in, for all the wrong things they made and all the shit they had to go through being so young. Because they were their parents, and even if they made mistakes, if it wasn't for them, they wouldn't be there.

 

"I'll go look for her" Mingyu crouched down to look at them intently and smiled the best he could "Stay here, I'll go make sure the monsters aren't here anymore, alright?" 

 

"Be careful" His dad screamed, looking even more scared "The took Hyeran!" He repeated.

 

"Yeah" His mother quickly nodded, her eyes couldn't focus on one thing, she was sweating "We saw what they did to her! She is all white, not moving"

 

Mingyu felt his stomach sinking. "What?"

 

"Hyeran is not moving since the monsters touched her!" His mother repeated, starting to scream again.

 

Mingyu immediately stood up and ran to the room he and his sister shared. He opened the door and looked at Hyeran, she was laying down on the floor, her crayons dispersed on the floor, her drawing of a big sun was not finished. 

 

"Hyeran?" Mingyu ran and grabbed her "Hyeran?!" He started shaking her. Hyeran's eyes were opened and unfocused, there was foam coming out from her mouth. "What happened to her?! What happened?!" He screamed, looking at the door, where his parents were standing, still scared, looking at the scene.

 

"We saw the monsters coming!" His mother screamed "We saw them!"

 

Mingyu held Hyeran close to his body, tears rolling down his cheeks as he unsuccessfully tried to wake up his little sister. She was not even breathing, she was cold and stiff. 

 

"We gave her medicine so she couldn't saw them!" His father started saying, crouching down next to them "But it was too late" He started crying too, looking horrified at the little Hyeran "They came for her! They took them!"

 

Mingyu lifted his head, crying loudly as he shook that little body once again "You did what?!" He looked around the floor, there was a syringe next to one of the crayons and a spoon on the other side of the room "You did what?!" He screamed, looking at his mother.

 

"It was too late, Mingyu!" His mother cried loudly too "We gave her the medicine but it was too late!"

 

"They took her! They took her!" His father cried, trying to shake Hyeran by himself, to see if that could wake her up.

 

Mingyu couldn't forget at how bad it hurt inside. 

 

And he certainly couldn't forget the sound of the sirens in the distance. 

 

The police asking him questions, the paramedics taking Hyeran out covered with a blanket on a stretcher. 4-year-old overdosed to death with crack.

 

 The police taking his parents to jail. 

The police telling him social services was going to take him since he was a minor. 

 

How his life changed. 

 

How much he hated drugs. 

 

How much he loved and missed Hyeran. 

 

How much he wanted to die. 

 

How he bought a ticket to Seoul knowing absolutely nothing about the city, with nothing more than a backpack filled with some clothes and pictures of his family when it was not all broken.

 

He was scared, but he made a promise that day.

 

If he ever loved someone as much as he loved little Hyeran, he was going to protect that person with his _life_.


	2. Primrose, February Birthdays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hansol Vernon Chwe, the primrose.

_The_ _sentiment_ _of_ _not_ _being_ _able_ _to_ _live_ _without_ _a_ _partner_ _usually_ _comes_ _with_ _young_ _love_ _._ _This_ _is_ _why_ _the_ _primrose_ _also_ _symbolizes_ _youth_ _._

Hansol was always a polite, smart, cheerful, kid. He grew up with a loving family who cared about each other and loved each other deeply, so for him,  _family was always first._ He also was someone who stood out everywhere he went, with his particularly bright smile, his handsomeness, his good and kind heart, his naive side, and also being first place always with his grades, being part of the basketball team and knowing two languages... Hansol was popular.

 

And obviously, being in his teenager years, popularity was something every kid wanted. Even being in a  _rich_ _kid_ _'s_  school, popular people surrounded themselves with other popular people.

"So, I know it's still early to ask, but... have you thought about college?" Mr. Chwe asked, they were all sitting at the dining table, peacefully eating after they all got back from either work, or school.

Hansol nodded softly. "I've been thinking... I want to go to the arts high school when I finish secondary school, and for college I think I want to go back to America... Visual Arts is what I want to focus in" 

 

Hansol's mom smiled "That's amazing, sweetheart, maybe Sofia will be grown enough to go there with you and enter high school, what about that?"

 

"That would be amazing, we can take care of each other" Hansol nodded, turning his head to look at Sofia, who was smiling back at him, eager about those plans.

 

"Then, please keep your grades up and everything will be easy for you" Hansol's dad spoke this time "Your mom and I already have a ton of contacts that can help you in your pursuing of arts, just as we did... I'm eager to take you on a trip to Europe, so we can go to museums... maybe this vacational period we can do that" 

 

"That sounds excellent!" Hansol was now more than happy, he didn't consider himself exceptionally good at art, but of course, he was dedicated because he wanted to be as good as his parents, and he had already made up his mind about that.

 

Hansol never really felt the urge of dating any girl, especially because the girls who seemed to have interest in him, seemed to be way more interested in his  _famous_ parents, his wealthy status, his mixed race and how  _exotic_ he looked... and he didn't really like being called that, since it made him feel like some kind of animal that was being watched.

 

But of course, peer pressure made him took some bad decisions. 

 

Like dating girls he didn't like. 

 

Or hanging out with people that were no good for him.

 

Or even, getting dragged into doing some stupid shit  _just for the_ _lols_ _._

 

But really no one could blame him. He was naive, fifteen years old, a kid who was told to be respectful with his elders, women, other people in general. Who was told he needed to help the ones who needed it. 

 

Hansol was the owner of a big heart.

"Come one, just try it, nothing is going to happen just for a sip" One of his so-called friends urged, while offering him a red cup filled with a weird mix of alcohol and some cheap juice, at a party of some older student of their school whose parents were too busy counting their money to pay enough attention at the disaster that was occurring at the backyard.

 

Hansol hesitated, but he ended up drinking it.

 

And he also ended up throwing up after drinking the entire content of the cup.

 

He also had his first encounter with sexual stuff, when a drunk girl pulled him inside one of the bathrooms of the second floor and kissed him in ways he never kissed someone before. And put her hands inside his pants. 

 

It was weird, but everyone in his group of friends had already loss their virginity. So he guessed it was alright, and he guessed he best thing to do after that was to date that girl, because he wasn't some idiot who was just going to fuck a girl and not invite her on a date or to be his girlfriend later.

 

Even if he didn't like her that much.

"Is Dahyun going to come home to have dinner with us tonight?" Sofia asked, looking intently at her brother, who was extremely focused playing his videogames.

 

"I don't know" Hansol shrugged, without looking back at her.

 

"But she is your girlfriend, right? Aren't you supposed to be like... obsessed with her?" Sofia tilted her head to one side "At least that's what my teacher says, that when you like someone so much, you can't stop thinking about that person. That's how I know I love you, and mom, and dad, because I am always thinking about you, guys" 

 

Hansol paused his game and turned his head to look at hear. He smiled and leaned to kiss her on her forehead. "And that's the best you can do, you are too young to think about boys, alright?" He lifted both eyebrows, but deep inside his little sister's words made him think about the situation. "Come one, let's go downstairs to see if mom needs any help setting the table or something"

 

Dahyun was not happy or pleased when Hansol broke up with her. She insisted into keep going to his house to see Sofia, or to randomly pop up at his house to have dinner with them... and he just rolled with it, because he felt bad about pointing out how she should be staying at her own house with her own family. Especially when he saw how bright Dahyun's smile turned when his parents invited her to have dinner with them soon... because their parents were honestly the best parents ever.

 

But she wasn't actually interested in that, she just wanted to keep her status at school by being associated with Hansol and his family.

 

So, like a leech, for about three entire months after breaking up, Dahyun kept going to the Chwe's family house. Their family reunions, their small trips, everything... because Hansol felt bad about telling something to her, or telling everyone else that they were not a couple anymore. He didn't want to make her look bad... until Sofia pointed out how sad he looked when she was around. 

 

And when he grabbed the courage to talk to her again, it was messy for everyone.

"Don't be sad because you broke up with your girlfriend, there are plenty more girls out there that you will date... and you will love them, you are too young to be sad about relationship issues" Hansol's mom patted him gently on his back and rubbed it. "Besides, you guys dated for like a year... at this age, relationships don't last longer, you need to know it now, Vernonie, love at his age is not something real"

 

Hansol nodded. Even if he wasn't sad about the whole  _break up issue,_ instead he was worried, because his friends were planning stuff that didn't quite sound like a good idea. 

 

"Always remember that  _at this age, romance is like spring_ "

"Come on dude, don't even hesitate about this, it's no big deal" Jae, one of his friends, gave him a cigarette "Light it, you need to stop being a kid and become a grown-up man" He insisted, and Hansol ended up taking the cigarette.

 

He coughed for a good five minutes after the first drag, and his  _friends_ laughed at him for having such weak lungs. 

 

"They will become rougher soon, don't worry" Jimin said, already finishing his own cigarette, and eager to light himself another one.

 

"So, what are the plans for tomorrow?" Wonho asked, throwing his cigarette's butt to the ground and stepping on it to extinguish it.

 

"Plans remain as the same we made yesterday" Jae said, shrugging "We are going to rob that convenience store after school" 

 

Hansol accidentally dropped his cigarette to the ground after hearing that. "We are going to do what?"

 

"Rob a convenience store tomorrow after school" Jae said again "Do you think cigarettes are cheap? We need to get them somehow" 

 

"But what if they catch us?" Hansol asked, worried. 

 

"Are you a fucking pussy, Chwe?" Wonho laughed, looking intently at him.

 

"Yeah, are you a fucking pussy?" Jimin looked at him too, and Jae didn't say anything, he just waited for his answer.

 

Hansol shook his head softly.

 

"Then, tomorrow after school we are going to this convenience store to rob some stuff, right?" Jae asked, still looking at him, trying to see if he could notice any slight hint of doubt in the younger's eyes.

 

Hansol only nodded.

 

"Excellent" Jae smiled, taking another cigarette out of the package, ready to smoke it.

 

"You don't even have to worry, Chwe, our way of doing things has no weak points, we have been doing this for months and they don't notice" Wonho patted Hansol's back and smiled "And you just have to wait to see that idiot clerk that works there"

 

Hansol nodded again and tried not to think too much about it.

 

He lived in Seoul after all, a busy city, what could possibly go wrong? No one was going to notice. 

 

He made up his mind, since he was a bad guy hanging around other guys of his kind... Seoul was going to become  _his c_ ity.

Even if deep inside he kind of feared the city. And he kind of hoped that by tomorrow, the city of Seoul, could swallow him so he didn't have to go to that place with those people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, I didn't say it in the last chapter but I wanted to explain a little bit of the dynamics of this part of the saga. First of all, I will be getting a throwback of every single one of them until the point where they arrive to Seoul, the place they met. Then, the story will be developing until they all meet and start the garden.  
> Also, if you notice, I picked their birthday flowers to describe them, so there's a lot of flower language here! <3
> 
> Second of all WHAT'S UP DID Y'ALL MISS ME? I SURE MISSED YOU GUYS. AS ALWAYS I BEG U TO LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BECAUSE IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ;; I KNOW I'M TRASH BECAUSE I ALREADY KILLED HYERAN IN THE LAST CHAPTER, FORGIVE ME AND GIVE ME UR LOVE.
> 
> i wanted to say also, did y'all saw those super soft pics of seventeen members with flowers? i have been crying since then like holy shit i keep thinking how they fit the story thank u pledis for the promotion lmao


	3. Peony, November Birthdays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xu Minghao, the Peony.

_Peony is China_ _’s most significant flower and is considered by many as the country’s national flower_ _._ _Peony symbolizes riches, prosperity and honor, along with some other virtues._

Minghao was six years old when she realized she was living in the incorrect body. She didn't make any drama about it, because even when she was so small, she knew her parents were conservative people, and all the rest of her family were just plain idiots who had narrow minds. 

So, she basically learned to live with what she had. She learned to act like someone who was not her own person, like some kind of character she needed to play in order to have an easy life. She didn't make any drama, she didn't cry, she just rolled with, sometimes wondering how life would be if she was what she wanted to be, if she didn't need to pretend or to please anyone else that was not her own self.

"Mom wants you to start taking martial arts with me" Mark was Minghao's  _older brother._

But he was not really his brother in the first place.

Mark's parents died when he was still a little kid, and Minghao's parents, being his godparents, didn't hesitate into taking Mark under their care. And they loved him. 

He was their perfect child. The best grades in the entire school, he played sports, he knew martial arts, he was popular, he was handsome, he was a good kid who never ever gave them any kind of trouble... and even if Minghao didn't hate him, nor she was jealous about him, she sometimes wondered if she was in the correct body... would she be that successful? 

"Okay, when am I going to start taking martial arts with you?" Minghao simply looked away from the book she was reading to give her older brother a look. 

"Today, grab your things" Mark gave her a smile and then hurried to get out of her room "I'll see you downstairs" He yelled from outside.

Minghao closed the book and took a deep breath. She grabbed some gym clothes and walked out of her room, ready to do whatever her parents wanted her to do.

Always silent, trying not give problems to others, doing whatever she was asked to, tall and slender Minghao entered high school. 

And it was when things started changing in her. 

"Are you coming to practice today?" Mark asked, looking at his  _brother._

"I have something to do" Minghao answered, not looking at him. This was the third time on the week she was absent from her martial arts classes. 

Because after longing for many years to stop walking to the place where they took those classes and stay at the classroom where ballet was taught instead, she started doing it. 

And she fucking loved it.

Minghao also started letting her hair grow. And even when it was not extra-long, she started feeling confident with it, better about herself... and the feeling of it, the feeling of starting to like herself turned into something that make her a confident person.

So, she was not as silent anymore.

"You know that girl that sits in the last desk at the last row?" MeiQi, Minghao's friend asked, looking at she while the two of them ate their lunch.

Minghao shook her head softly. "What about her?"

"She likes you" MeiQi answered, shrugging softly. "I saw her notebook and she has drawings, hearts with your name inside them and shit" 

The taller of the two just tilted her head to one side, curious about that. Minghao didn't like anyone, nor she had liked anyone before, so the fact that someone was interested about her, let alone that it was another girl. It was weird.

Looking back to it, Minghao could've certainly laugh at herself for believing maybe she was not the type who fell in love with others, and that it was okay.

She was in secondary school when she fell for the first time. And she fell hard.

For her teacher.

Minghao couldn´t help but to smile widely when he praised her about being so smart, about being so interested in his class, about how good her grades were, about how her homework was done correctly, without mistakes, she was the best in that class.

Not long time passed until the teacher started giving Minghao signs that he liked her back. And even if it was wrong, Minghao being way younger, him being married and also, Minghao being his student, they didn't hesitate into starting to date. 

Things were fine for a while. 

Minghao knew her place, she knew her teacher was married and they could only spend so little time after school; the man somehow tried to fix that by giving the girl money for her to buy nice things, somehow it was the beginning of the end. 

At home, Hao was still a person who tried not to give her parents problems, but it was more difficult than before to just accept things than in the past. Her teacher taught her things not only sexually, but also, he gave her a very important talk about how everyone should be their own selves instead of pretending to be someone else just to avoid society losing their minds.

Funny, since he was a gay man married to a woman just to avoid that exact same thing.

But it really helped her. At least, to understand that she deserved better than just living in a way that didn't made her happy, or that didn't fit what she truly wanted, a way that made her sad. 

"Xu Minghao, sit down" The principal called her to his office almost at the end of the classes. 

Minghao sat down, just as the principal told her, complety quiet. "Is there something wrong?" She asked, not really understanding why she was called there in the first place.

The principal took a deep breath. "You are a very good student. I've never heard any teacher complaining about you, you do well in classes, your grades are great, Minghao" 

"But that's not why I'm here, I'm a regular student after all" Minghao crossed her arms at her chest and looked intently at the man.

The man fidgeted in his chair and shook his head. He put his elbows on the desk that was separating them and looked intently at Minghao. "Someone informed us about the situation going between you and teacher Wang" 

The girl immediately knew what was going to happen. Her mouth felt dry and a terrible feeling installed in her stomach, but she tried to act calm. "He is just my teacher and I am just his student"

"No, Minghao, we have proof. We have photos and Mr. Wang already confessed..." The man looked away and only shrugged "We protect each other as an institution, but sadly this cannot be taken lightly. I already called your parents and they are on their way here, I will inform them about your affair and you will be expelled from this school"

"Can I go back to class then?" Minghao asked, trying to look calmed, not scared or sad, how she really was.

"Go, enjoy your last day in this school" The man nodded "I will ask you not to tell anyone about this, but I bet the shame will be for you if you comment this to others" 

Minghao got up from the chair and left the office, walking slowly through the hallway and she stopped next to the fire alarm. She took a deep breath. 

Just when she was just starting to feel comfortable in her skin. Just when she thought she found someone who understand her, just when she decided to open up to someone enough to talk about being trapped in the wrong body.

She looked at the fire alarm and pulled it, making it blast in the entire school. 

Everybody went out of the classrooms and she took advantage of that to leave the school just as her parents were arriving to.

When Minghao was at her house, she didn't waste time to pack some clothes in a suitcase, not much of it since she didn't like them anyways. She grabbed the money she saved during all the time she dated that man who didn't hesitate into throwing her under the bus to save his ass, and walked out of her room.

"Where are you going? Why aren't you at school?" Mark asked her, looking intently at his  _brother._

"I have something to do" Minghao only answered, not stopping to talk properly with him.

"Hey" Mark grabbed her by her wrist "I know it's hard for you sometimes but we have each other, right?" He smiled. "Whatever you have inside your mind that doesn't allow you to live fully happily... you can tell me, we will get through it together" 

Minghao tilted her head to one side and nodded softly. "Thank you" 

"Good luck" Mark smiled at her.

She nodded again and left the house with only one place in her head. 

It was not easy to buy a plane ticket being underage and completely unsure about where she wanted to go. She never traveled outside China, so reading all those fancy destinations... she took a deep breath and asked an old couple kindly to buy her a plane ticket to whatever place they were going.

They accepted.

_"_ _Good afternoon passengers. This is your captain speaking._ _First,_ _I'd like to welcome everyone on_ _Flight 86A._ _The time is 1:25 pm. The weather looks good and with the tailwind on our side we are expecting to land in Seoul, South Korea_ _approximately fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. The weather in Seoul is clear and sunny, with a high of 25 degrees for this afternoon. If the weather cooperates we should get a great view of the city as we descend._ _I'll talk to you again before we reach our destination. Until then, sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight."_

Minghao walked outside the airport once the flight landed in Seoul, a place she didn't even knew existed and was so near her own country. She bit her lower lip and looked at her shoes, she knew no one, she had nothing there, she didn't even speak the language. 

She lifted her head and furrowed her eyebrows, she was not someone who gave up so easily, not now that she had the opportunity to start all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to be uploaded on Minghao's birthday but i'm trash   
> pls give seventeen all your love, my baby is injured so let's support he and svt by voting in all places they are nominated pls pls pls pls i'm begging u  
> also pls comment  
> love y'all


	4. Chrysanthemum, November Birthdays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Jihoon, the chrysanthemum.

_As a_ _bloom_ _of_ _great_ _importance_ _,_ _the_ _Chrysanthemum_ _symbolizes_ _l_ _asting_ _friendship_ _and non-_ _romantic_ _affection, r_ _est_ _and_ _recovery_ _after a_ _long_ _trial_ _or_ _challenge plus_ _l_ _oyalty_ _and_ _devotion_ _,_ _both_ _romantic_ _and_ _platonic._

Jihoon learned a lot of things in the  _hard way._  He was the third child of a marriage that didn't even understood why they were still together... if being together meant they mostly screamed at each other every time they shared the same space in the house. 

Both of his parents worked all day, so he and his siblings stayed all day alone. 

Jihoon should have known then, that he was vulnerable. Or at least his parents should have known it. What else can happen when you are a kid whose parents barely care about? When you are alone all day, when you are shy and reserved, when you try to pass without being noticed by the others. 

It started in fourth grade. Jihoon's music teacher was fascinated with him, with his small body and his baby face, with how cute he looked wearing the school's uniform. But he knew Jihoon was not dumb, so he first tested the waters, giving the kid a small kiss on his lips. 

He later started kissing other parts of his body, and Jihoon, being small, didn't quite understood what was going on... the only thing he knew, was that he didn't like it, but he kept quiet about it after the first time he tried to tell his parents, in between tears and whimpers, and they scolded him for being too loud after their hard day at work.

So, kept quiet. Until he finished elementary school and was able to move into another school, away from that teacher.  But not away from the bad habits and bad thoughts that person left him.

When he entered high school, things changed. But not for good.

Jihoon kept learning the hard way. His parents got divorced and life just sucked overall, he started dating some guys at his school, guys who wanted to keep everything as secret, of course, for the sake of their manhood in front of others, and that became a vicious circle for him. 

Dating guys who just wanted to fuck him. Dating guys who were abusive with him in a lot of different ways, but he didn't care, he didn't complain, he just kept quiet, that was the only thing he knew well.

Jihoon then entered high school. And things changed.

"Hey, I'm Seungcheol, Choi Seungcheol"

_Jihoon_ _will never, ever in his life, forget about the moment when they met._

"Lee Jihoon" The younger said, not interested into talking with that guy, he was too busy trying to make an excuse for the bruises in his wrists if the nurse dared to ask where they came from, even when it was pretty obvious he was messing around with some guy who made him feel like he worth the hour they spend together having sex, and then regretting it the next thirty minutes, when Jihoon's boyfriend screamed at him and proceeded to beat him.

He always ended up with guys like those. Guys who cheated on him. Guys who yelled at him, guys who beat him, guys who treated him like shit.

Jihoon didn't know another way of living.

Until he met Seungcheol.

"That looks like it hurts" Seungcheol murmured, looking at his wrists.

Jihoon made a face. "There are things out there that hurt more than physical stuff"

"That's too deep for someone your age" Seungcheol furrowed eyebrows and then he just looked back at the latter's wrists. "I came to skip my boring science class with the lame excuse that my head hurts... You wanna skip classes together?"

Yes, things were shitty, and he had bad coping mechanisms, but Seungcheol made everything a bit better. Skipping classes together became a habit, and then it escalated into walking home together after school, going to the park to smoke, texting each other.

Jihoon never really had friends, he never really had someone to be close to, so being around Seungcheol became his everything.

And that was how he desperately fell in love with Seungcheol. Even when he knew he had zero chances with him, of course he knew his place.

But he couldn't help it. 

"You are too silent these days" Seungcheol looked intently at his friend, curious about his weird way of acting.

"I'm just thinking, that's it " Jihoon shrugged, not looking at him. He was sad, there were a lot of things happening and his heart was weak.

"Thinking about what?" Seungcheol's curiosity grew bigger, but he was also worried. He didn't like getting into someone else's life, especially knowing that Jihoon preferred to be discreet about his thoughts and his personal life overall. But he noticed new scars on his wrists. 

"How you are going to finish school this year and I'll still be stuck in here, but alone" Jihoon shrugged" I bet you have tons of plans, tons of things you want to do... It makes me think"

"Think about what?" 

"Think about how I have nothing"

"You have me"

Jihoon looked at Seungcheol as if he was talking to him in another language. 

And he was never going to forget. Because that was the first time he felt someone actually cared about him. 

"I will wait for you to finish too and then we will leave"

"We will leave?"

"Yeah"

"And where are we going?"

"Seoul, that's the only certain plan I have. I want to live in Seoul, I bet we will do amazing things there"

"Things like what?"

"Whatever we want"

Even when it wasn't even a plan, it was Jihoon's favorite plan. The only plan in his mind, the only plan he ever had.

The first time they kissed was weird. It was sloppy and clumsy, basically because Jihoon had no idea on how to act when someone showed kindness towards him, when someone was not in a hurry to fuck him, or use his body. He had no practice in being soft and slow.

The second time was better.

Both of them thought it was natural, they felt like it was the most normal step to take. 

They started dating a couple of months after Seungcheol graduated from high school. He started working as a barista in a café, trying to make some money for them to go to Seoul together as soon as Jihoon graduated from high school too.

Jihoon started being more open about a lot of things. About a lot of thoughts he had, about his dreams for the future, and also, about his past, the experiences that made him be the person he was. Seungcheol didn't waste any time into taking care of Jihoon as if his life depended on that; he wanted to make up for everything bad Jihoon had to live through his life before they met. He wanted to change that, he wanted to save him from his demons.

They should have known by then, that everything was going to fall eventually, because wanting to  _save_ someone is not a synonym of loving that person.

Of course, they loved each other. Or at least they thought that at the beginning. That they loved each other as something more than two people who want to protect the other because they genuinely care, because they want the best for the other, because they were the only family each other ever had.

When Jihoon finished high school, they were more than ready. They were equally excited and scared, something new was waiting for them in a totally new city, away from all the things they knew, away from all the things that once hurt them, and that haunted them. 

Jihoon didn't even went to the graduation ceremony, he had a better place to be, holding a suitcase, his palms sweating, his heart pounding fast and hard inside his chest. He did say goodbye to his siblings, and to all the bad memories he hoped to forget once the bus he and Seungcheol were going to take, arrived to Seoul.

They were ready.

Jihoon sat down on his place and took a deep breath. Not knowing what to expect, not wanting to expect anything else than good things, than living a life full of choices that were not going to make him regret living until that point.

He tilted his head and then turned to see his boyfriend, sitting at his left.

"Are you ready?" Jihoon asked, smiling, he was so ready to start living a life at the side of someone he loved and that loved him back.

"I am, are you?" Seungcheol smiled, his hand sliding to take Jihoon's hand.

"I am" The younger nodded eagerly "You know what? When I was younger I discovered that all adults lie, they lie in order to get things, in order to hide things, in order to hurt... I know we can't prevent becoming adults, parting from home now... we are basically adults, right? Even if we are underage"

Seungcheol nodded softly, holding that smaller hand, looking intently at his boyfriend.

"I don't want us to become like my parents, Cheol. They lied to each other all the time. I don't want us to become like my music teacher, who lied to me, who lied to others in order to make them think he was nice... I want us to be honest with each other. It took me a lot of time to be honest with myself, to tell myself I was not okay, to stop lying to me even when I knew the truth about all the things... let's not lie, Cheol. Never. Let's not lie, please, that's all I ask, because you are all I have"

"I would never—"

"Just promise me we will always be honest with each other, is that okay? Even if it hurts, It's the best thing to do, tell the truth. Let's promise we will always be honest in everything we do"

"Always, Jihoonie"

"Thank you"

The bus suddenly started moving. They were parting

Jihoon looked through the window and smiled, relieved. Something else, something better was waiting for them just a couple of hours from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry it took me so long to update this ;; i am being consumed by work slowly, and i've been dodging sickness here and there... so sorry to you all, my beautiful small flowers, i promise i will be updating the next chapter on saturday, and from there i will be updating as soon as i can, i already want to enter the whole story as how they got to know each other and how the became the people they are.  
> Are you excited??? pls tell me you are  
> as always, you know i eat comments, so if you don't leave your comments here i will starve and die, pls don't let me die (?)
> 
> you can follow me on my social media! insta @paradoxx420 and twitter @pinkbambidesu  
> i absolutely LOVE talking with you all; due to the recent events that are going through the environment where we all are involved, i want you all to know, if you are ever feeling down, if you are ever feeling pressured or that it's too much, pls dont hesitate into sending me a message, do it without double thinking, i will be there for you even if we are not close. It's always nice to have someone to talk to when we are feeling down.   
> i love you all, every single one of you. YOU ARE SPECIAL, LOVED AND NEEDED.


	5. Carnation, January Birthdays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boo Seungkwan, the carnation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think i can express with words how grateful i am to have such cute readers, i know it's been a while since i update this yet all of you support me and message me cute things that make my heart go SKKKRRR DU PA-PA!   
> ONE OF MY BABIES EVEN PRINTED THE CHAPTERS AVAILABLE AND SEND ME A PICTURE AND I AM STILL CRYING OVER IT, I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL BABIES AROUND ME, THANK YOU LOTS FOR READING MY STORIES, IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME IF YOU LIKE IT, IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOME OF THIS, REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART, IF SOME OF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE, EVEN IF WE ARE NOT CLOSE, PLEASE COME WITH ME, I WILL LISTEN TO YOU. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

_The_ _Koreans_ _use_ _the_ _carnation_ _to_ _foretell_ _the_ _fortune_ _of_ _young_ _girls_ _._    
 _Upon_ _placing_ _three_ _freshly_ _cut_ _carnations_ _in_ _her_ _hair_ _,_ _the_ _young_ _girl_ _is_ _charged_ _with_ _observing_ _which_ _of_ _the_ _three_ _will_ _die_ _first_ _._ _If_ _the_ _top_ _flower_ _dies_ _off_ _first_ _,_ _it_ _indicates_ _that_ _the_ _latter_ _years_ _of_ _the_ _girl’s_ _life_ _will_ _be_ _filled_ _with_ _strife_ _._ _If_ _the_ _middle_ _flower_ _fades_ _first_ _,_ _it_ _indicates_ _she_ _will_ _experience_ _turmoil_ _during_ _her_ _youth_ _._ _If_ _the_ _lower_ _flower_ _dies_ _and_ _fades_ _first_ _,_ _it_ _indicates_ _that_ _the_ _young_ _woman_ _will_ _face_ _great_ _challenges_ _throughout_ _her_ _lifetime_ _._

Seungkwan should have known better since that day when out of curiosity, she dared to enter to that really weird store that all the people in her small town said was owned by a witch. Being all honest, Seungkwan was just desperate, like any other girl her age that was entering puberty.

Getting her hand or some cards read didn't seem like a huge deal, what was the deal was what the  _witch_  told her after a couple of moments looking at her hand without saying anything. She also put some flowers on her head, and when she was throwing the tarot cards on the table right in front of Seungkwan's curious eyes and stopped,  _there_  Seungkwan should have known.

"You will fall in love with a very handsome man" The witch smiled, looking at the cards "And he is going to fall in love for you too"

"And we will be happy?" Seungkwan asked, interested. She never dated someone before, so it kind of excited her, the possibility of knowing how was like to kiss someone. 

The witch kept quiet and took a deep breath. "You need to watch the flowers carefully, pay attention on which one of those dies first" She said, not really wanting to tell more details to the small boy that was in front of her. "I know how you feel inside"

"You do?" Seungkwan tilted her head. 

"I do. I know you are not like the others, I know that you feel weird, and odd and off all the time because you are not just what you seem to be" She smiled softly and patted one of those round cheeks carefully "Life is hard, remember that always, okay? But no matter how hard it can get, stay focused on the future, always keep in mind that the future has precious things to offer to us... when you are down, when you think you can't do it anymore, think that if you leave just like that, you won't be able to see what's waiting for you"

Seungkwan lowered her head and nodded, she knew exactly what the witch was talking about. She took the flowers and bowed respectfully, leaving the store. 

Life was indeed hard. 

As soon as Seungkwan finished elementary school and entered middle school she realized what the witch meant with those words years ago. Life was shitty, and sucked, and nothing seemed to go well.

Her sisters were total bitches with her, and she discovered she couldn't trust them with anything the day she decided to be sincere about who she was. 

Yeah, Seungkwan was born with a dick and a flat chest. She was born in the wrong body.

During her entire childhood she tried to push away the idea that deep inside she knew there was something wrong, she tried to go along what she was supposed to be, but after some time she just couldn't handle it anymore. 

Growing up, seen changes in her body that made her cringe, that made her aware that she was turning into something even more opposite to what she wanted to be made it impossible for her. All her friends were getting their periods, were dating boys, were turning into young ladies... and she was there, stuck. That's how she got the amazing idea of telling her sisters what was happening... and it was the worst idea she ever had. 

Her sisters didn't hesitate into telling their parents and hell was released. Every time she looked back she felt guilty... because she felt like part of what happened was because of it. 

"I don't ever want to hear this nonsense again!" His father yelled at her, angry, his face was even red. What was society going to say about his  _son?_

"But—" Seungkwan tried to talk, in between her crying. 

"Shut up I said!" His father raised his voice again "My son is not going to be a fucking faggot that dresses up like a girl, you hear me?" 

"This is your fault because you don't spend enough time around him!" His mother hurried to add, she never missed the chance to blame her husband.

Her sisters got jobs while studying, so, real quick they left their house hold, and then it was only him and her parents, always yelling at each other, always blaming each other.

It was just a matter of time. They ended up getting divorced, they cheated on each other anyways, her father had another family, her mother didn't waste time into getting a boyfriend younger than her so she could punch her husband's ego. 

There was no space for Seungkwan in their lives, not when they wanted to start again, not when she made them feel ashamed, not when she represented a problem for them. That's how she ended up being sent to Seoul, to live with her grandparents. 

And life was not better there.

Seungkwan's grandparents knew about her  _condition_ and they were not happy with it. The truth was they were strict people, and they refused to pay for any of her things, if she wanted something she needed to work to buy it. She ended up quitting high school before her last year to be able to get a fulltime job.

A shitty one, because she was young and didn't know how to do shit in order to survive.

One thing leads to another, and Seungkwan was the kind of girl that ate her feelings. To be more specific, she ate her depression, and that only made things even more hard for her, because there was nothing worse than hating your body, and gaining weight, and feeling disgusting because no matter how hard you tried, you were not what you wanted to be.

She felt ugly, fat, out of place, unloved, desperate, alone... and she was already used to the idea that she was never going to be what she wanted to be. 

"Sometimes I really want to die" Seungkwan murmured, looking at the cigarette she was holding between her index and her middle finger. 

"Tell me something I don't know" Nayun, her best friend, gave her a look. She was the only friend she had, the only one who didn't run away when she told her sincerely what was happening.

"But for real" Seungkwan made a pause "Isn't this world evil? It puts  _I want to die_ in our mouths... at this age, so fucked up..." She sighed "I look at myself and think how fragile I am, how it would be so easy for me to disappear... If I cut deep enough I could die. If I jump I could fall and die, if I don't move the car is going to hit me and I might die"

"Yet here you are, loser"

"I made a promise"

Nayun raised one eyebrow and looked intently at her best friend. 

"I will stay until the end to see what's there for me"

"Poetic... eww, that's so you"

Seungkwan shrugged. "I'm going to a job interview tomorrow, you think I should stop thinking about wanting to die or should I continue?"

"Continue" Nayun smiled, throwing the butt of her cigarette to the ground and stepping on it to extinguish it "You just quit that shitty job on the really nice cafeteria... where are you going to work now?"

"Remember that really shitty small supermarket that's on that really quiet street where nothing interesting happens?" 

"Near the fancy part of the city?"

"That one"

"Shitty, that's very you"

"You know me"

"You want me to go with you?"

"Please"

And Seungkwan took that shitty job. And her life was shitty, but at least she managed to have it together... most of the time, when her grandparents didn't yell at her for everything and for nothing, she was so used now to being called  _little shit t_ hat she joked around telling others it was her actual name.

Sometimes she even changed her name tag on her uniform  _"This is little shit, how can I help you today?"_  Nothing really special happened there, never, it was a boring part of the city filled with fancy ass people who only went there when they didn't have any other option.

Until those stupid boys started to visit.

They liked to mess around, throwing things, stealing things, calling her names under their breaths, making jokes... but a good thing was that Seungkwan was really harsh to herself, so no one else could make her feel bad about herself, no one else than her.

That morning she took the bus to the northern part of Seoul, tired, wanting the day to finish already. It was only eight o'clock, but it was already the hardest morning ever. 

When she heard laughs entering the store, she sighed... there they came, those idiots. She rolled her eyes, one of these days she was going to lose them at the back of her brain, but right now, she only managed to turn around and warn one of her coworkers.  

She walked to the aisle where they kept juices of different brands, only because it was close to the automatic doors, wanting to see them as soon as they crossed the door, ready to fight if they started to act like dicks, she was not in the mood to deal with them.

Seungkwan started making sure that the juices were correctly positioned, and then she turned her gaze to them. 

And she saw him.

The most handsome guy she had ever seen in her entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> instant crush:-)  
> i miss you all so much, my cute little things, you don't have any idea, it sucks to grow up and have to be a functioning adult that has shit to do and getting home tired and only wanting to sleep; anyways, i love you all so much, please tell me u missed me too and that u are gonna leave the cutest comments here, giving me all your love:-)! <3
> 
> pls go look for author shuuei, is my boi right there giving us some cute, quality oneshots, the ones that you all deserve to read! give him lots of love because he is amazing and i love him and he deserves appreciation. 
> 
> one last thing, remember you can add me at insta @paradoxx420 and twitter @pinkbambidesu ; SVT IS COMING BACK FOR US IN A COUPLE OF HOURS, LET'S SCREAM TOGETHER, MESSAGE ME AND LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.


	6. home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Far from what you know there's also a home.

Seungkwan rolled her eyes as she walked towards the end of the aisle, carrying some cups of unprepared ramen she needed to place in their correct place. She overheard them walking into the store, making nasty jokes and comments that just made her uncomfortable. 

_"Chubby"_  One of them murmured, passing behind her, snickering as his friends followed him. 

The girl turned her head just a bit and she saw the same handsome guy, he was looking back at her and he looked uncomfortable too. He didn't stare for too long, he kept walking, following his friends. 

"Fucking losers" Seungkwan rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair, it was short, but it was also longer than ever, the longest she could ever let her hair grow, fringe barely reaching the middle of her forehead, the rest of it kinda looked messy, but it was only a matter of time and patience, she kept repeating to herself.

"I can tell" Nayun smiled "But was he cute tho?" 

"He was, but that doesn't matter if he is a fucking loser like his friends" Seungkwan shrugged, it was almost 11pm, and even thought she was tired, she preferred to be hanging out until late before arriving early and hear all the shit her grandparents had to tell her.

"Girl knows exactly what she wants" Nayun laughed, but she was proud "Help me bake a cake tomorrow, it's my father's birthday and I kind of want to give him something, he's been working hard and shit, he deserves it"

"A cake?"

"A cake"

"I'm impressed"

"I have no clue about cakes, okay? I used to bake marijuana months ago, now I bake cakes, okay?"

Seungkwan bursted into laughter and nodded softly, small tears forming on her eyes, Nayun was an idiot "I'll help you"

Minghao got off the plane and wandered around the airport, carrying her bag around. When did she decided that it was a good idea to go to  _South fucking Korea?_  

She knew nothing about the place, she didn't even know korean, to begin with. The girl began walking out of the place, it couldn't be that bad... right? Out of the airport was cold and if she wasn't quickly, it would be late soon, and of course spending her first night in a different country, alone, freezing her small ass in the streets, didn't sound ideal. 

The chinese girl walked as far as she could and soon she was able to see some people lining up, as if they were waiting for something. Different lines of people were formed, could it be that they were waiting for a bus? When she saw a bus stopping by and the line of people walking towards it to get into the vehicle, she knew. Another bus stopped right behind the first one, but by judging at the different lines, most likely they probably had different routes.

People started moving to enter the second bus, and so did Minghao. She got in and sat at the back, next to the window, she wanted to see everything... she was far, and there was no way she could just run back home, this decision was all she had now. 

Minghao didn't really knew when she fell asleep, but she woke up to the driver of the bus shaking her lightly, announcing this was the last stop and that she needed to get off the bus. So, she did. She saw it drive away, far, she followed it with his eyes until it was no longer possible. 

The sun was starting to go down and she was sure she didn't have enough money to pay a hotel, also she wasn't dumb enough to spend the only money she had in a hotel room. Which she was sure it was not cheap, judging by how expensive the place she was currently standing on looked. A deep breath escaped her lips and she hugged the only luggage she brought with her, starting to walk without any kind of direction at all, it didn't matter, she still didn't know where she was so it was pointless to even pick a direction.

The chinese girl walked for what seemed to be hours for her. It was now dark and neon signs were the ones illuminating the streets, night life started, people passed by her sides laughing, smoking, talking out loud about how they were going to spend the night dancing, getting drunk. She stopped outside a mini market and rested her back on the wall near the door, she was tired, and hungry, this now seemed like a very bad idea. 

Minghao lowered her head and closed her eyes.   _"_ _Lā_ _shǐ_ _"_  

_"_ _Shénme_ _?"_ A voice spoke back.

Minghao opened her eyes, startled. She cursed in chinese and someone answered back? In South  _fucking_  Korea? She immediately lifted her head to look at the person who said that. 

A tall, skinny girl was staring at her, curious. She was so pretty, her long, straight, black hair that reached her waist, her smooth, pale skin, her makeup was greatly done and the clothes she was wearing looking nothing less than expensive. 

How could someone be  _so_ lucky? Pretty, with a great style... 

"Excuse me? Were you speaking chinese?" The girl asked, smiling, walking closer to her.

"Y-Yes" Minghao answered, nodding softly.

"I knew it" The girl smiled even wider "Jieqiong" She offered one hand. 

"Minghao" She took that hand and shook it softly, awkwardly. 

"I'm sorry, I bet you are super weirded out, it's just that I'm always so happy to hear someone speaking chinese, it makes me feel like home" Jieqiong sighed, crossing her arms. "You live near here? I was just walking home thinking about having some chinese food" 

Minghao shook his head softly. 

"Oh" Jieqiong's smile turned small and shy "Sorry to be so intimidating it's just that I-"

"I just arrived here, I'm all by myself" Minghao interrupted her "I don't have a house or a hotel room, so no, I don't live near here... honestly, I don't have a place to live" she added, her breath shaking a little, she was about to crumble.

Jieqiong kept quiet and looked at her intently, tilting her head a bit. She then looked both sides of the street and back to Minghao, who was quietly biting her lower lip, trying her best to brush away her urge to cry. "Come with me" She finally said, starting to walk. 

"Huh?" Minghao followed her with her eyes but didn't move. She was confused.

"Come with me" Jieqiong repeated, stopping to turn and look at the latter "Start walking, come on" 

Minghao didn't understood, but he also didn't ask, she just started walking after the stranger.

The past months were awful, they were adjusting themselves to this new place in a new city, a new job. Being adults wasn't funny, paying bills wasn't funny, learning how to cook wasn't funny either... especially being bad at it and failing every time, but there they were. 

Together.

They had a house, a job that gave them enough money to pay for it, buy meals and also left enough to spend in trivial useless things they liked. It was enough, even if they had to manage their schedules and work them. 

Being hosts wasn't exactly what they were planning to do when they decided to leave their small town and adventure themselves into the wild Seoul, but the opportunity was there and they took it... it was pretty interesting. 

Basically, at the wealthy part of the city there were several different  _clubs,_ some of them were really popular, others were smaller. On their first week in Seoul, the owner of the biggest club of that area approached them at a Starbucks. They were just having some coffee and somehow a job opportunity fell off the sky for them, both of them.

_"You're handsome_ _"_ he said, smiling brightly. He then proceeded to explain how he dedicated himself to find young, handsome,  _gentlemen,_ to work with him at their club.

_Hosts._

They never heard about anything like that before, but apparently, among women of all ages, it was a commong thing to go to those kinds of places to spend their time and their money. They picked a host for the day and they could spend a couple of hours sharing a dessert, a drink, or anything else. Just hanging out, talking, not really doing anything. 

Paying to have a handsome man sitting with you, feeding you desserts, telling you you're pretty. People really spent money doing  _t_ _hat._

To the women that went into the club to spend their money, they were princes, and they needed to take the role very seriously. They had themed parties and the team dressed up as actual princes, or in suits, or like bad boys, or like anything else that could help them get clients. 

Wealthy women that attended the club, not only paid for everything, but also, they left huge tips. It looked like something easy, actually, but they practiced their facial expressions, their voice tone... it was very much like acting. And it gave them money. 

"Yesterday Jinyoung suggested I use bunny ears today" Jihoon commented, looking at himself on the mirror, Seungcheol and him getting ready to go work. 

"Are you going to do it?" Seungcheol smiled, he just had finished buttoning his shirt and tucking it inside his pants. "You'll look cute"

"I'm going to look ridiculous" Jihoon rolled his eyes, they were ready. Makeup and hair was exclusively done at the club by the stylists, they also changed clothes there, but they couldn't be naked on the streets. 

"Give it a shot, I bet high schoolers are going to like it, they will even tell their friends about it and you will have more clients" Seungcheol pat his back softly and then pressed a kiss on his head. "I'll be jealous"

Jihoon smiled. "Maybe" he said, turning around to face his boyfriend and kiss him.

Of course, the first year was rough. But they knew they couldn't go back home, they were adults now, and they were living their lives, peacefully, to the fullest, happier than ever, together, just to two of them and that was what mattered. 

It was almost 2am when Seungcheol finished his schedule for the day and his precious day off will be the day after. Winter was approaching and it was clear in the temperature, because as soon as he stepped out of the club and started walking, he shivered. Times like these were the ones that made him realize he really needed a car... even when his house wasn't that far and the area was pretty safe, this kind of long days killed him, walking was an addition to his suffering when all he wanted was to sleep. 

He put his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and took a long breath, tired. His eyes were almost closing as he went by the sidewalk, ready to collapse on his bed, sweet, soft bed...

_"Let me go!"_

Seungcheol turned his head, startled, that scream in the middle of the night, in the middle of a peaceful area.

_"Come here! Let's just play together for a while"_

_"No! Please let me go!"_

_"No way, first I want to taste how sweet you are"_

"Is everything okay?" Seungcheol immediately ran there, a drunk man was forcefully grabbing a young _girl_  by her wrist and trying to pull her closer. 

"I just found this sweet strawberry and I'm about to top it with condensed milk" The man laughed obnoxiously, still pulling the  _girl._

"I don't think so" Seungcheol raised one eyebrow and got closer to the two "Let her go before I break your hands" He threatened, looking as intimidating as he could. 

"Oh, come on, I don't mind sharing" The man laughed again, making obscene gestures. 

Seungcheol lose his shit. He punched the man in the face and took the  _girl's_ hand, starting to walk away quickly, not letting her go. As soon as they were far from there, he stopped and looked at her. 

"Are you alright? It's dangerous to be outside this late!" He scolded, serious "I'll take you home personally, I need to make sure you arrive safe"

"I can't go back home" The girl said, looking at the latter, worried.

"What? Why? I bet your parents are worried, ladies shouldn't be out this late"

"I'm... I-I'm... not a girl"

"Huh?"

"My parents kicked me out of the house because they don't want their son to be a freak who likes boys and dresses as a girl" The latter explained, sadness obvious in his voice, shame also.

"So that's why you are wearing a skirt. I'm sorry, you have long hair and your features are really soft, for a moment I..." Seungcheol shook his head "I'm Seungcheol"

"Jeonghan" The latter said, looking at him for just a couple of seconds, only to look away the minute their eyes met "I better go, it's late"

"Where will you go?" 

"I don't know..."

"Come with me"

"Huh? You don't know me, why do you want me to come with you?"

"You rather stay in the streets with random drunk men?"

"But-"

"That's why I thought. Come on, Jeonghan, let's go. It's late and we need to sleep"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if in Korea host clubs are really a thing, for sure I know in Japan they are... that's where I got the idea from, lol.
> 
> so hey, sorry about being super late with this update now i'll be faster with them because i already want to get into the juicyness, into the real thing, into the deal, into IT... and now i have free time :3 (?) also planning into updating all of my other fics so please stay near if you also read the others! <3 i love you all, babes 
> 
> Remember i love reading your comments, so please, don't hesitate into leaving them, it's awesome for me to know what you think and which story are you expecting the most, which background are you expecting the most? <3


	7. Marigold, October birthdays.

Aside from being an important part of any organic garden as a pest deterrent, the  _Marigold_  has loftier meanings like the beauty and warmth of the rising sun, winning the affections of someone through hard work, creativity and the drive to succeed, desire for wealth, cruelty and coldness due to jealousy. 

Jeonghan never felt fully welcomed in his family, and it wasn't just a teenage phase. It wasn't like he called his parents jerks or was an ungrateful child, not at all; he was well behaved, he was smart, he was polite and he even was a bit shy, but you know what they say, if something starts bad, it will certainly end up bad as well.

His mother was just turning sixteen when she got pregnant from his father, who at that time, was twenty years old. Of course, the family of his mother wanted them to get married at all costs, his father needed to be responsible for the mistake they made. Maybe it was right there when he must have known things were not going to be easy for him, but how could he? He barely was a bunch of cells creating inside his mother, there was no possible way for him to acknowledge that. 

They got married and started living together just a couple of months later, after they found out they were expecting.

When Jeonghan was born, no one went to the hospital to congratulate or cheer on their parents. In fact, no one showed up to their house either, not until a couple of weeks later, like they had no other choice but to go there see the now,  _proud_ parents. 

His father was rather strict, he specifically taught him manners and the way he needed to behave in a very military way. But Jeonghan obeyed, to every single one of his commands, he obeyed, and he couldn't say he was unhappy or sad, he was too young to realize. 

He did great at school, he never spoke when no one asked for him to do it, he sat down in the same spot for hours if no one gave him permission to stand up and always said  _please_ and  _thank you._ He only dared to disobey his father twice in his childhood and he regretted doing it so much. 

Saying that he beat his ass was only a kind way to say what his father really did to him. 

Teachers commented how cute it was that little Jeonghan always followed the rules, always was nice, always was a perfect child. But it never seemed to be enough for his father. 

His mother was a kind woman, she cared for him, she kissed him goodnight every night he went to bed and always hugged him when he cried. She cooked the best jajangmyeon, and was always there, trying her best to raise her child even when her was still pretty much a kid... but she always did what her husband told her to do. She never acted against him, not when he always brought up that  _it was her fault after_ _all,_ that i _f she didn't_ _want_ _to be with him in the first place, she could have thought about it better._

Now when Jeonghan looked back at those memories, of course he realizes it was an abusive parent, husband and just overall, an abusive human. 

Family meetings were not very nice either, especially when they were with his grandparents on his father's side. Growing up Jeonghan was a child that got sick very easily. The dumbest reasons gave him a cold, if a virus was in the air, he would catch it no matter what, and of course, the only person to blame was his mother, because she was weak, because she got pregnant being too young instead of taking care of her. 

Not that his grandparents on his mother's side were more nice or gentle either, they simply were disappointed at their daughter and that never went away. You know those families were when someone gets pregnant at a very young age and the parents are angry at first and they won't talk to the daughter but as soon as she delivers and they see the baby things get better and everyone loves the baby? Not in this case. 

Fast forward. Jeonghan was ten years old when he realized he liked boys, when a bunch of his classmates —because he never really had any friend, he was too ashamed for others to meet their family or visit his house, and too shy to accept invitations to other's houses— were talking about the girls they liked. 

It didn't really bother him at first, he was still young and he took things naturally, with more ease. But he also never said it out loud, he knew, or at least, imagined, the consequences that it will bring to him if his father ever discovered it. 

 

Things started to get out of hand as he grew up. It just kind of happened, and to be honest, maybe it was his fault the way it ended up, but not the way it started.

Jeonghan was rather skinny and  _feminine_ looking. Once, when he was in middle school, a bully he used to have called him  _pretty boy,_ trying to offend him but he didn't even flinch; was pretty boy supposed to be an insult? Because it didn't feel like it. 

His mother got pregnant again, with a girl, and this time things were different. 

Everybody in the family seemed to be blasting at the news of the pregnancy. They made a party and when the girl was born, everyone welcomed her into the family, even his parents looked happier and they didn't fight as much. 

He was not going to lie, he loved his sister as much as the rest of the family did and he was sure that his sister loved him back. 

Fast forward again, Jeonghan finished high school. He had a few days of vacations before needing to get ready to apply to the universities, even when he really didn't know which career he wanted. 

It happened in that span of time. 

He thought he was home alone, but he wasn't, and hell was released. 

"My son is not going to be a faggot that dresses up like a girl!" His father yelled, grabbing Jeonghan by his hair —which was finally starting to grow the way he liked it— pulling him hard. 

"It hurts!" Jeonghan tried to release himself from that gripping, but it was impossible. 

His father came into his room without knocking on the door, as he always did —he and his sister were not allowed to lock themselves in their rooms, they didn't even have locks in their doorknobs, because  _they shouldn't be hiding anything_ — and found Jeonghan using a school uniform. 

A girl's school uniform. Skirt, shirt, bow, everything. 

"You knew about this! It's your fault!" His father pulled his hair even harder while he yelled at his mother, he was beyond mad "It's your fault that he is a fucking cunt!" He turned to look at Jeonghan with disgust and let him go. 

"Dad, I—"

"I am not your dad" The man shook his head "I am not your fucking dad, you are crazy if you think I'll let you think I want to be related to someone like  _that"_ He walked to the door and opened it "Leave, I don't want you here in my house"

"It's cold outside and it's almost 10pm" Jeonghan stood by the door crying, looking at his father and then at his mother, trying to have someone help him 

His mother was crying silently, not looking at him. She never stood up against her husband... and clearly, she wasn't doing it now, not even for her son. 

Jeonghan took a last look at his parents, at the house and then simply walked outside, not turning around. He heard the door slam behind his back and silent tears kept rolling down his cheeks. He had no place to go, he didn't even know the city that well, so all he had, was to wander alone in the middle of the night, not knowing where he was heading. 

That's exactly how he ended up in a part of the city totally unknown for him, being harassed by a drunk man who tried to pull his skirt up and touch him. He was screwed, this was it, he was going to die. 

But  _he_ appeared. Out of nowhere, _he_  saved him. 

And now he was sitting on a really nice couch, in a really fancy house, anxious and nervous because he didn't know where the fuck he was or who was this amazingly kind and handsome guy who saved him. He could be a killer for all Jeonghan knew, and he came straight into his house, he walked into the wolf's mouth... but he didn't care, he had nothing left to lose anyways. 

"Are you feeling hungry?" The handsome guy asked, sitting next to him on the couch. 

Jeonghan shook his head very softly, not looking at him. 

"Sure?" 

Jeonghan nodded softly this time, still not looking at him. 

"You're so cute" The guy smiled and that made Jeonghan blush, "So cute, let me get you some clothes so you can change them and sleep, alright?" 

"Why are you doing this?" Jeonghan dared to ask in a small voice, making Seungcheol stop before he could leave him alone in there again. Not that he was ungrateful, honestly, but it was still very weird. 

Seungcheol hummed "Well, you have no place to go and I don't have the heart to let you out there. Not knowing that I can at least offer you a place to spend the night at" He explained, smiling at him

"I don't want to be a girl" Jeonghan said out of nowhere, like he was trying to state a fact in front of that handsome stranger.

"Huh?"

"The clothes, I don't want to be a girl, I like being a boy"

"Then?"

"I don't know. Why can't I choose what I want to wear without others judging? These are just clothes, they are pieces of fabric, it's not... fair..." Jeonghan murmured, lowering his head to look at the floor.

"Come with me" Seungcheol answered, probably dismissing what the later just said.

Both of them walked upstairs, Jeonghan following Seungcheol a couple of steps behind, in complete silence, just looking around. 

"I live here with my boyfriend, but he's still at work" Seungcheol mentioned, stopping in front of one door and opening it.

_Of course,_ _he has a boyfriend, there's no way someone like him it's single._

They both entered the room, but Jeonghan stayed by the door, too shy to go further, letting Seungcheol do the work. It was his house anyways.

"Here, I think this will fit you well" Seungcheol offered an oversized white t-shirt and a pair of red pajama pants "I can lend you a towel so you can take a shower, do you want that?" 

Jeonghan nodded softly and he was guided to the bathroom inside that same room. He closed the door after looking back at the smiling man and proceeded to get naked. 

There was not much to tell about what happened after that. He got out of the shower and Seungcheol told him he could sleep in the room and that he will sleep in the living room. Of course, Jeonghan refused to do that, but ended up accepting after Seungcheol called him  _cute_ and he got too flustered to bite back anything. 

Obviously, it was hard for Jeonghan to fall asleep. He spent the night tossing and turning, trying hard to close his eyes, but he was alone in that room with his thoughts and they were hunting him. 

He was wide awake when Seungcheol's boyfriend came home and he heard them fighting about him, about bringing him to their home. Something more to add to his list of things that were eating him inside, the last thing he wanted was to cause troubles between them.

As soon as the sun was out he was going to leave. 

_Knock_ _knock_ _knock_

Jeonghan hugged the pillow beside him and whined, it was too early for someone to be trying to wake him up. 

_Knock_ _knock_ _knock_

He opened his eyes and started panicking when he noticed he didn't recognize the place. Suddenly, everything hit him like a train. 

The door opened and he saw a guy a bit shorter than him entering the room "Good morning, I hope you slept well" he said, standing by the edge of the bed. "Seungcheol told me you didn't eat anything last night; do you want to go out so we can eat something?" 

"I... heard you fighting last night" Jeonghan confessed, feeling guilty about it, he knew that was not polite "I'm sorry I'm causing troubles, that's the last thing I want to, I don't even know how to thank you for letting me spend the night here" 

"Don't worry" Jihoon chuckled "It's fine, we talked about it... I'm Jihoon, by the way, I wanted to come see you personally. Seungcheol told me you had some problems with your family, right?" 

Jeonghan nodded, his gaze lowering to the bedsheets, ashamed. 

"Hey, don't worry, parents can be very difficult. Mines were shitty, to be honest" Jihoon smiled, remembering that was the reason he didn't kill Seungcheol last night, remembering how his parents were the shittiest parents ever, it kind of made him change his mind. "Come on, get up and let's get ready so we can go grab something to eat"

As soon as Jihoon left the room so he could use the shower in there, he heard another knock on the door. This time he got up and open, only to find Seungcheol standing there, a beaming smile on his lips, a smile that made Jeonghan's heart start beating fast.

"You slept well?" Seungcheol asked, staring at him, genuinely interested in his answer. 

"Yes, thank you so much" Jeonghan nodded, staring back at him, nervous. 

"Get ready, we'll go shopping"

"Shopping?"

"You can't stay in my clothes all day, right?"

 _He could._ Jeonghan shrugged, confused.

Seungcheol chuckled and Jeonghan almost sighed. "We'll go shopping for some clothes for you"

"No, thanks, I can't accept that"

"I already decided it, so take a shower and let's go shopping, we are going to choose all the clothes that you want"

"But—"

"All the clothes  _you_ want, all of them. No one is going to be judging, you can choose whatever you think it's cool and anything that you feel comfortable with, alright?"

Jeonghan smiled shyly and then nodded. 

"Seungcheol!" Jihoon scolded his boyfriend from the end of the corridor "Stop making him waste time, he must be hungry! Let him get ready!" 

Jeonghan kept smiling, this time at the shorter's words, but his eyes were still stuck in Seungcheol's smile and in his mind his words were still running. 

_Grab a pot or vase of Marigolds for: expressing your jealousy when trapped in a love triangle._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well would you look at that, it's me coming back to update regularly all of my stories.
> 
>  
> 
> i feel like shit today but hopefully your comments can make me feel better ): i really like reading what you guys think so please don't hesitate into leaving them!
> 
> this one is for my babe @eottoghe who is constantly cheering me up without even knowing, and honestly if you want to read some G O O D stuff, go check that user, you won't regret not even for a second, my heart goes dugu dugu for U babe
> 
> also @shuuei stop ruining my life with your writing, BUT HONESTLY, my boy right here is such an amazing and talented person like if you haven't checked his works you are REALLY missing it
> 
> that's it, i'm honestly feeling super bad but i love u all *smooches kisses into every single one of his readers foreheads and then leaves*


End file.
